.:. rolling in the deep .:.

i find great comfort in listening to your snores at night or whenever i can't sleep. it's always been that way, from the time before we weere married, when we were still courting and till now. and i hope it remains that way. whether it's in the comfort of our own bed, or even when we're abroad, and i wake in the middle of the night. i seek comfort in knowing that you're next to me, and listening to your rhythmic breathing/snores lull me back to slumberland. :)

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hurdles in Baby M's world: what's that?!

there is finally a small (read: BIG! HUGE!) flicker of hope during this very trying last trimester - my amniotic fluid level has decreased to being normal! yayness. was so so soooo relieved when i heard that from the sonographer when we did the fetal scan. Baby M's doing well, somersaulting and doing yoga in my belly. he refuses to show us his full face - maybe he's trying to keep us in suspense and surprise us upon delivery. wahhh.

our gynae seems confident that all will be ok, in due time. the baby will definitely be born a premmie, though a late one. but she's trying to minimise his chances of having to stay in the neonatal unit after delivery. hence, she's holding me on to the meds till 34/35 weeks.

my target is to hold on till at least 36 weeks. somehow, the date 20th August seems to ring a bell to me, though i cannot, for the life of me, fathom its significance. i honestly don't think it's anyone's birthday or a special date of any kind. so, i believe that it might be a sign from the One above that baby M might make his big entrance then. that'll be during my 36th week, and i'd be 9 months by then, so please do. :)

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temporary SAHM vs Nine West heels in the corporate world

i gotta submit my application for unpaid leave soon if i want to take any after Baby M's delivery. i was initially planning to take at least 2 extra months till Feb 2012, till he turns 6 months, before the whole she-bang with bed rest and all the ning-nongs. i was so sure of this. and then, the whole bed rest episode happened, and i was forced to take early absence from work, and by ttime my maternity leave ends in Dec 2011, i would have been away from work for a period of like 6 months.

wah. i know this sounds horrendous, but i'm such a workaholic that i actually feel bad for being away that long. sheesh.

plus, with the notion that if i take unpaid leave, i might not have a job to go back to, well, duh, now you get why i'm actually contemplating and rethinking my decision. it doesn't help that my emplacement is due in Jan 2012, and well, if i take unpaid and it's approved, i'll be away till like mid Feb 2012, which means that i might miss my emplacement and thus, might not be emplaced?

i was talking to the man about this, and i need him to be on the same page as me. that should the possibility of me being unemployed occur, he'll be alright with it. we both agreed that well, who ever said having a kid was easy, and that parenthood was gonna be a piece of cake. but if me taking time off from work to make sure that our kid's all well and fine for the first 6 months of his life, then so be it. we'll risk the possibility of me being jobless because of this.

so, it's settled then. unpaid till Feb 2012, and keeping my fingers crossed.

*praying hard*